by Bruno McCartney

Almost two billion simpletons believe that Jesus was/is the "Son of God" and "God Incarnate". More rational people suspect that, at the very least, he was a liberal-thinking, caring and decent man. The New Testament proves that he was none of the above. It proves that he was a nasty, racist, puritanical mumblebrain.

The book of Matthew also shows that Jesus was just a normal sperm-meets-egg conception, with no "holy ghosts" or divine deities involved in the process.

Most of the quotes in this report are from the King James Authorized Version of the Holy Bible. Occasionally I have used the New American Standard Bible (NASB) to clarify a point. The New American Standard Bible was completed in 1977 and it gives a more accurate translation of ancient Greek, Aramaic and Hebrew texts.

Most quotes are from the Book of Matthew and they appear in no particular order. We have no idea who wrote the Book of Matthew, or most other books in the Holy Bible for that matter. Scholars suspect that so-called 'Matthew' was a church scribe who plagiarized much of his text from other scribes (mostly from Mark, whose story predates Matthew's by at least ten years) and embellished it with contemporary myths and hearsay. Mark's words were copied from a missing essay known simply as the 'Q' gospel. None of the gospel writers met, saw or heard Jesus, he was well dead before they were out of diapers.

Matthew: Chapter one:

1.The book of the generation of Jesus Christ, the son of David, the son of Abraham.
2. Abraham begat Isaac; and Isaac begat Jacob; and Jacob begat Judas and his brethren...

Several begattings later...

6. And Jesse begat David the king; and David begat Solomon...

The begattings continue, until...

16. And Jacob begat Joseph the husband of Mary, of whom was born Jesus, who is called Christ.

Luke 3:23-38 gives a totally different genealogy and in reverse order but the seed still flows from David to Joseph and Jesus. Now, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, consider: twenty-two times in the New Testament, Jesus is referred to as the "Son of David." How could he have been related to David unless Joseph was his natural father? Mary was unrelated to David. Joseph however was directly descended from David.

"Concerning his son Jesus Christ our Lord, which was made of the seed of David according to the flesh." Romans 1:1-3

"Made of the seed of David according to the flesh" – get it? What possible use would the seed of David be unless it was transmitted from Joseph to Jesus? Anyone with an IQ of 60 or above can clearly see that Joseph, not some psychedelic pudding in the sky, was the natural father of Jesus. Otherwise, why mention the genealogy of Abraham>David>Joseph>Jesus?

"It is still stranger that they should trace his genealogy to Joseph if they did not consider him Joseph's son. Otherwise, the genealogy of Sinbad the Sailor or Harry Haulaway would have been apropos."

Kersey Graves – 'Sixteen Crucified Saviours'

Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, (nudge nudge, wink wink!) she was found with child of the Holy Ghost. Matthew 1:18

Espoused? Espoused means "betrothed" (New American Standard Bible.) Betrothed? Betrothed means "engaged to be married" (The New Collins Dictionary). So Mary was engaged to Joseph when she discovered that she was up the duff.

But while he thought on these things, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared unto him in a dream, saying, "Joseph, thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife: for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost." Matthew 1:20

"Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife." (New American Standard Bible.) The word "as" is significant because it shows that they were not already married.

So while he was dreaming, an angel appeared unto Joseph and told him to marry his pregnant fuck buddy because a holy ghost had stuck its pee-pee into her ho-ho. Personally I would have been far more impressed had the "angel of the Lord" appeared to Joseph while he was wide awake. Let's face it, we all get weird dreams. I sometimes dream that I can fly and that I have a dick like Ferdinand the bull.

Then Joseph being raised from sleep did as the angel of the Lord had bidden him, and took unto him his wife. Matthew 1:24

...and took her as his wife. (NASB)

Onya Mary, ya fooled that sucker!

This, the first chapter of the book of Matthew, proves beyond all shadow of doubt that Joseph, not God, was the natural father of Jesus. What's more, the so-called "Virgin Mary" was well pregnant to Joseph before he married her. Mary was just a normal, healthy, fun-loving gal.

"The furtive pregnancy of young women, often by a God, is one of the most frequently recurring incidents in the legendary narratives of the country."

Alexander Grote, historian

Jesus was circumcised in the traditional manner but his circumcision went horribly wrong. As happened frequently, and even with advanced methods of sterilization, still does happen, the wound turned septic and Jesus' penis rotted away. That is why in later life he railed against sex and encouraged his followers to mutilate their bodies.


"But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery; and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery." Matthew 5:32

So now you understand why the Catholic Church is so down on divorce. Apart from "fornication" Jesus forbade it. If your wife is a fornicator you are allowed to divorce her, but for no other reason. Anyone who remarries is guilty of adultery. Still not convinced?

"And I say unto you Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery; and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery." Matthew 19:9

So the millions upon millions of Christians who have divorced and remarried have disobeyed Jesus. Let's see what he had to say about the punishment for adultery.

Jesus said, "Thou shall do no murder, Thou shalt not commit adultery, Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not bear false witness." Matthew 19:18

So as far as Jesus was concerned, adultery was second only to murder on the scale of wickedness.

Whoopsidaisy – did I say second? Sorry, it's just been ratcheted up a notch...

"Thou knowest the commandments, Do not commit adultery, Do not kill, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Defraud not, Honour your father and mother." Mark 10:19

Adultery – sin Numero Uno! Keep your pants zipped fellas. And how are adulterers to be punished?

"A wicked and adulterous generation seeketh after a sign; and there shall no sign be given unto it, but the sign of the prophet Jonah." Matthew 16:4

Did he mean that adulterers will be tossed into the sea and devoured by a whale? Unlikely. More likely Jesus was referring to the way God tortured Jonah by exposing him to the scorching sun until Jonah was so miserable he begged God to let him die. God responded by growing a vine over Jonah to protect him from the sun but then caused a worm to eat the vine so Jonah was once again exposed to the intense heat of the desert sun.

"And it came to pass when the sun did arise, that God prepared a vehement east wind; and the sun beat upon the head of Jonah, that he fainted, and wished in himself to die, and said, It is better for me to die than to live." Jonah 4:8

So adulterers, according to Jesus you're in for blistering times ahead.


"Thou shalt not commit adultery. But I say unto you, that whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart." Matthew 5:28

Just for looking? Wow dude, heavy. How can we avoid committing adultery?


"And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell." Matthew 5:29

Ah, now we're getting to the nitty-gritty. So the punishment for adultery is hell, but if all we've done is glanced at a woman lustfully we can avoid the fires of hell by plucking out one eye.

What about masturbation?

"And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell." Matthew 5:30

So there you have it, this so-called liberal reformer turns out to be a puritanical tyrant who advocates body mutilation to compensate for the slightest sexual transgression. Either that or he'll see you burn in hell, forever.

"The God of hell should be held in loathing, contempt and scorn. A God who threatens eternal pain should be hated , not loved; cursed, not worshiped. A heaven presided over by such a God must be below the meanest hell."

Robert G. Ingersoll (1833-1889)

"For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it." Matthew 19:12

Now if you had a friend, or a relative, who was preparing to castrate himself in the belief that such an action would facilitate his passage to heaven, would you encourage him or try to deter him? You'd probably urge him to seek psychiatric help, right? Not so Jesus. His advice was, if you've got the balls to do it, cut your balls off.


"You have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil; and whosoever shall smite thee on they right cheek, turn to him the other also." Matthew 5:38-39

"You have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love they neighbour, and hate thine enemies. But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you." Matthew 5:43-44

Soon we shall see how Jesus contradicted himself, how he responded to people who disagreed with his point of view, and it was anything but loving. And that is the problem with this ridiculous proposal, it sounds wonderful in theory but as history has repeatedly shown, if we resist not evil, evil wins. Had we taken Jesus' advice in 1939/40 the world would now be ruled by a Nazi/ Japanese alliance.

Jesus speaks his mind ? "Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye are like unto whited sepulchres which indeed appear beautiful outward, but are within full of dead men's bones, and of all uncleanliness." Matthew 23:27

"Ye serpents, ye generation of vipers, how can ye escape the damnation of hell?" Matthew 23:33

Hey, Jesus! What happened to Love Thine Enemies? Oh well, no one's perfect, least of all a pose messiah.

"Jesus, in fact, was typical of a certain kind of fanatical young idealist: at one moment holding forth with tears in his eyes about the need for universal love; at the next, furiously denouncing the morons, crooks and bigots who do not see eye to eye with him. It is very natural and very human behaviour. But it is not supernatural. Many of the great men in history (for example Socrates and Gandhi) have met criticism with more dignity and restraint."

Margaret Knight,
Lecturer on Psychology, Aberdeen University

The Hebrews didn't have churches, they had synagogues. What did Jesus think of people praying in synagogues?

"And when thou prayest thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are; for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward. But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy father which is in secret; and thy father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly." Matthew 6:5-6

Because there is no money to be made out of people praying privately at home, ALL churches deliberately ignore Jesus and they encourage you to do likewise. The largest industry in the world – religion – needs you to disobey Jesus, because if you obey him, Christianity will become a personal, private religion with no need for the Vatican, cathedrals, churches, popes, bishops, priests, preachers, pastors, deacons, vicars and all the millions of hypocrites who make a comfortable living out of misleading Christians.


"Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink, nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than rainment." Matthew 6:25

Of course, anyone following Jesus' advice would very soon get sick and be admitted to hospital. Millions of people in third world countries die of malnutrition because they are compelled through poverty to live the sort of life advocated by Jesus. He was a very ignorant man who knew nothing about diet and nutrition. Besides which, in another chapter, Jesus condemns people to hell for not feeding and clothing him.


"Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels: For I was an hungered, and ye gave me no meat: I was thirsty and ye gave me no drink: I was a stranger and ye took me not in: naked, and ye clothed me not..." Matthew 25:41-43

The punishment, everlasting damnation, just a tad on the harsh side for someone who declined to feed and clothe an aesthetic who cared nothing for food and clothing, wouldn't you say?

"The belief in eternal torment, still subscribed to by fundamentalist Christian denominations, undoubtedly ranks as the most vicious and reprehensible doctrine of classical Christianity. It has resulted in an incalculable amount of psychological torture, especially among children where it is employed as a terror tactic to prompt obedience. "

George H. Smith – 'Atheism: The Case Against God'

And another of his disciples said unto him, "Suffer me first to go and bury my father." But Jesus said unto him, "Follow me and let the dead bury their dead." Matthew 8:21-22

Such a busy schedule, no time to allow a loyal supporter time off to bury his father. Instead, an utterly stupid remark about working corpses.


These twelve Jesus sent forth, and commanded them, saying, "Go not into the way of the Gentiles, and into any city of the Samaritans enter ye not. But go rather to the lost sheep of Israel." Matthew 10:5-6

This is one of several occasions when Jesus reminds his follows and anyone prepared to listen that he had come to help Jews, nobody but Jews.


"Think not that I am come to send peace on earth, I came not to send peace but a sword. For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. And a man's foes shall be they of his own household." Matthew 10:34-36

So much for the 'Prince of Peace' nonsense. Jesus' legacy is alive and well in Ireland, Serbia, Croatia, Indonesia, Kenya and Nigeria.

"Suppose ye that I am come to give peace on earth? I tell you, Nay, but rather division." Luke 14:51

Then just before his crucifixion, this ghastly "god" gets a panic attack...

Then said he unto them, "But now, he that hath a purse, let him take it, and likewise his scrip: and he that hath no sword, let him sell his garment, and buy one." Luke 22:36

Two disciples do as they're told and buy swords, one lunges at a priest's slave and chops off his ear which Jesus repairs. Jesus realizes that he's overstepped the mark and instructs the two musketeers to cool it. Luke 22:50-51


"I come to send fire on the earth; and what will I, if it be already kindled?" Luke 12:49

A clarification of this can be found in the New American Standard Bible

"I have come to cast fire upon the earth; and how I wish it were already kindled." Luke 12:49

He was a fiery little demon, that Jesus fella. Christians have tried to convince me that Jesus was referring to 'spreading the word', which would be OK were it not for the fact that he was obsessed with flames and people burning. The truth is that Jesus so hated the world he longed to see it perish.


"He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me." Matthew 10:37

Jesus was clearly in love with himself.

"And every one who hath forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life." Matthew 19:29

This passage is often used by cults to encourage men to desert their wives and children. Makes me wonder what Christianity did to earn its reputation as a "family religion."

By the time we get to the gospel of Luke, Jesus has worked himself into quite a frenzy...

"If any man come to me and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple." Luke: 14:26

So much for "honour thy father and thy mother."

"Jesus was a paranoiac. He presents as typical a case of this disease as can be imagined."


While he yet talked to the people, behold his mother and brethren stood without, desiring to speak with him. Then one said unto him, "Behold, thy mother and thy brethren stand without, desiring to speak with you." But he answered and said, "Who is my mother? and who are my brethren?" Matthew 12:46-48

Jesus makes a grand gesture pointing to and promoting his disciples...

And he stretched forth his hand towards his disciples, and said, "Behold, my mother and my brethren! For whoever shall do the will of my Father which is in heaven, the same is my brother, and sister, and mother." Matthew 12:49-50

So while Catholics worship Mary as the "Mother of God," Jesus had no more love or respect for her than for any barmaid or reformed hooker, such as Mary Magdalene, who hung around feigning interest.


And the disciples came, and said unto him, "Why speaketh thou to them in parables?" He answered and said unto them, "Because it is given unto you to know the mysteries of the kingdom of heaven, but to them it is not given." Matthew 13:11

This statement is more important than it at first appears to be. It shows that although Jesus believed he had the power to save people from hell, he deliberately denied salvation to anyone who wasn't smart enough to decipher his cryptic messages.


"For whosoever hath, to him shall be given, and he shall have more abundance, but whosoever hath not, from him shall be taken even that he hath." Matthew 13:12

And then, by way of contrast...

"But woe unto you that are rich! For ye have received your consolation. Woe unto you that are full! for ye shall hunger. Woe unto you that laugh now! for ye shall mourn and weep." Luke 6:24-25

How nasty can this man get? We shall see...

"It cannot be emphasised too strongly that Christianity has a vested interest in human misery. Christianity, perhaps more than any religion before or since, capitalized on human suffering; and it was enormously successful in insuring its own existence through the perpetuation of human suffering."

George H. Smith, 'Atheism: The Case Against God'

Another parable put he forth unto them, saying, "The kingdom of heaven is likened to a man who sowed good seed in his field. But while men slept, his enemies came and sowed tares (weeds) among the wheat, and went his way." Matthew 13:24-25

(The wheat and the weeds grow together and the man's servants ask if they should rip out the weeds.)

But he said, "Nay, lest while ye gather up the tares, ye root up also the wheat with them. Let both grow together until the harvest: and in the time of harvest I will say to the reapers, Gather ye first together the tares, and bind them in bundles to burn them: but gather the wheat into my barn." Matthew 13:29-30

(Now, was Jesus referring just to wheat and weeds, or did this parable refer to people he perceived as being good and wicked? Let's see how he expands on this parable...)

"This hideous doctrine of eternal torment after death has probably caused more terror and misery, more cruelty and more violation of natural human sympathy, than any belief in the history of mankind. Yet this doctrine was taught unambiguously by Jesus."

Margaret Knight, Aberdeen University

He answered and said unto them, "He that soweth the good seed is the Son of Man; the field is the world; the good seed are the children of the kingdom; but the tares are the children of the wicked one. The enemy which soweth them is the devil; the harvest is the end of the world; and the reapers are the angels. As therefore the tares are gathered and burned in the fire; so shall it be in the end of this world." Matthew 13:37-40

(Get ready folks, here comes the most spiteful remark ever attributed to a God.)

"The Son of Man shall send forth his angels, and they shall gather out of his kingdom all things that offend, and them which do iniquity. And shall cast them into a furnace of fire; there shall be a wailing and gnashing of teeth." Matthew 13:41-42

Notice the sense of demonic delight ?"...a wailing and gnashing of teeth." That'll teach them for not paying attention! Even Hitler used to shoot his victims or gas them before burning them.

Then just in case you didn't quite grasp it the first time, Jesus repeats himself...

"So it shall be at the end of the world; the angels shall come forth, and sever the wicked from among the just. And shall cast them into the furnace of fire; there shall be a wailing and gnashing of teeth." Matthew 13:49-50

OK Jesus, we get the message. Your cup of glee runneth over.

"When the Old Testament God saw him quietly in his grave he was satisfied. The muscles relaxed, and the frown gave place to a smile. But in the New Testament the trouble commences at death. In the New Testament, God is to wreak his revenge forever and ever. It was reserved for the one who said, "Love thine enemies" to tear asunder the veil between time and eternity and fix the horrified gaze of man upon the gulfs of eternal fire."

Thomas Paine (1737-1809) 'The Age Of Reason'

And when he was come into his own country, he taught them in their synagogue, insomuch that they were astonished, and said, Whence has this man wisdom, and these mighty works? Is not this the carpenter's son? Is not his mother called Mary? And his brethren James and Joses, and Simon and Judas? And his sisters, are they not all with us? Whence then hath this man all these things? And they were offended in him. But Jesus said unto them, A prophet is not without honour, save in his own country, and in his own house. And he did not many mighty works there because of their unbelief. Matthew 13:54-58

This proves beyond all shadow of a doubt that Jesus' healing powers were not supernatural, they only worked when people had faith in his ability to cure. When confronted by Nazarenes who had known him since childhood, he failed. Had his powers been "God given" they would have worked regardless of the company he kept.

The gospel of Luke adds an interesting twist to this tale. Jesus fails to cure anyone, and to excuse his lackluster performance he compares his failure to that of another holy wiz kid.

And he said, "Verily I say unto you, No prophet is accepted in his own country... And many lepers were in Israel at the time of El-i-se-us the prophet; and none of them was cleansed, saving Na-a-man the Syrian." And all they in the Synagogue, when they heard these things, were filled with wrath. And rose up, and thrust him out of the city, and led him unto the brow of the hill whereon their city was built, that they might cast him down headlong. But he passing through the midst of them went his way. Luke 4: 24, 27-30

So they tried to toss the Son of God who is God down the hill but he did a bunk. Ne'er mind Jesus, you can't win 'em all. Better luck next time ol' chap.

'Messiah or Monster' continues

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